Maybe I spoke too soon listing off all my “firsts” in a moment of joy. Last night provided a new experience that tested a lot of the girl within me. While I’ve been under the weather for quite some time now, I thought little of it until last week the doctor confirmed I had been afflicted with Mononucleosis, aka “mono.” (at 23 years old?!) It’s been a whirlwind of a time trying to feel well enough to get back to work and move into my new apartment. Yesterday I was up the majority of the day and felt proud for making some progress. My dear hometeachers moved practically everything from my house to the new apartment, as I’ve been directed to not lift anything heavy for the next month. And later on that evening my dear boyfriend Marshall was moving the rest of the heavy stuff when I had an overwhelming heat flash. After sitting down and drinking as much as I could, when I felt my face and neck I knew my temperature was on the incline. Marshall immediately put me in bed and cranked up the AC as he took my temp: 102.5. I took both my prescriptions, and lied down with a cold compress over my forehead. Marshall told me that I just needed to sleep, and that he needed to go soon. I flooded into tears and begged him to stay with me. How could I possibly be left alone in this condition? Is there anything worse than being by yourself when you're sick? I knew he had to go though- and within minutes his roommate was there to take him home. Marshall turned off all my lights, locked my door, and there I was- alone. Somehow this wasn’t quite what I had envisioned. As I lay in the middle of my room on a bare mattress with a high fever and boxes and boxes of my belongings surrounding me- I thought to myself- My Life Has Never Been A Bigger Mess. The prescriptions must have counteracted one another, because I was anything but “drowsy”- as I had been promised. I was however, dizzy, extremely dizzy and a little out of it. Over and over I kept reassuring myself that noises = normal, and that click you heard is not someone trying to break in, the sixth sense is not a real sense and you don't have it, and yes-that box was there an hour ago. Then the lightening and thunder storm started. Scared me to death! I curled up in the middle of that bare mattress, a blanket on top of me, afraid of literally everything. Funny how I was supposedly making this independent life stride- I hadn't felt that child-like in years. I dozed in and out of sleep all night- awaking to everything from an aching throat, to cold, heat, the storm, hunger, etc. As I write this post at 6:27 AM, I feel extremely grateful for morning. That night was horrible. H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E. But I think sometimes we have to have a horrible night. Horrible nights makes us appreciate all the normal nights. And they make us realize that we’re ok, that we’re tough, and can make it through. That being said… I really hope that was the worst it will get and it’s all uphill from here! I also need to get my cable hooked up....and find a dog to call my own. That will help too.
